With all the emotions whirling around it’s no shock that yes I too am feeling it. Feeling crazy, emotional, sleepless. One of the habits I turn to when I seem to be upset or even just want to brighten the day, is buying myself fresh flowers. So upon returning home from my travels I stopped to pick up something beautiful and bright. In the flower shop I had lots of options to pick from. But I immediately went to the gladiolus bunch. These magnificent beauties caught my eye with their sunset hue contrasted perfectly against vibrant green stems. I picked them up immediately, these were the ones. Now I’m not sure I’ve ever bought these flowers before, I’m usually a peony, or wild flower type of gal but today was different. As I mentioned in my last post in the IG world, I’ve been struggling with anxiety, and a huge lack of sleep. This is a little unchartered territory for me, I’ve only experienced this once maybe twice before. So I’m learning how to address and overcome these fears. I was getting ready for bed tonight all excited to be home and in our bed. And then BOOM, my heart was racing and beating right out of my chest. I could feel the thud in my throat. It felt like hands were wrapped around my neck and I couldn’t breathe. I raced out of the house hopped into my car and drove. Windows down and some sappy sad song on the radio I drove out of the city lights to where I could see the stars. It took a while to calm myself. A thought crossed my mind ... well many thoughts crossed my mind, but one distracting thought was why did I get those flowers, which in the scheme of things was a small fry question and yet I was intrigued. I decided to look up the meaning of a gladiolus flower.
The gladiolus flower has been known to: express tenderness, love, grace, elegance and family which are essential details of the females. The second meaning is associated with the masculine side and that of a gladiator, which is a symbol of strength and self-confidence. In ancient times this flower or wearing this mark which was often adorned on bodies or armor and it was believed that this flower had magnificent power to protect them from wounds, a protective talisman.
Wow, all of that seems to resonate with me so much. I am battling my own biological clock but I’m trying to remain present and not let my emotions overrule me. This retrograde has all of my most feminine desires surging to the surface. I’m not quite sure how to deal with it all. I know that time is everything and that my path will soon be revealed. I have to trust the universe will hear my prayers and intentions. As I sat there and pondered about these meanings I knew better than to write it off as coincidence. I’m of the age where having a baby is a little now or never ... well not so much right this minute, but in the next few years, which to me feels like "girl get your shit together". It's also a shit ton of pressure. I'm thoroughly enjoyiny my current status quo, I am not ready for the next step of motherhood just yet. All you mamma's out there ... how do you do it? It seems amazing but overwhelming at the same time. I've had almost every mom I know tell me you're never really ready for it, but you thrive and do it.
Further evidence of getting in tune with my energy body was the color selection of flowers. This sunset hue I mentioned above, well the yellow, orange, pink ombre that cascades from the center of the flower also overlaps the 3 base chakras colors; root (red), sacral (orange), and solar plexus (yellow). A little 101 for those of you unfamiliar with chakras and just to skim the surface including the psychological symptoms of them.
1st - Root: This chakra is embodied by the color red and is located at the base of the spine. Its Sanskrit name is muladhara. It is associated with our connection to earth, survival, health, abundance, family, passion, and moving forward in life.
If the root (base) chakra becomes unbalanced, you may feel "stuck" and just can't seem to move forward in life. You may feel ungrounded, with a depleting sense of self. This frequently happens following traumatic events, family problems, death of a loved one, and major life changes. A blockage in the root chakra prevents the release of grief, guilt, and sadness, contributing the the inability to move forward and preventing you from following your destiny.
Common psychological symptoms of an unbalanced root chakra: loneliness, insecurities, feeling ungrounded, unconfident, abandoned, indecisive, depressed, anxious, addictions, phobias, obsessions.
2nd - Sacral: This chakra is orange and is located above the base of the spine. Its Sanskrit name is svadhisthana. It is associated with our connection to other people, creativity, energy, confidence, and sexual health.
If the sacral chakra becomes unbalanced, you will have a lack of energy flow throughout the entire body. You may feel extremely lethargic and unmotivated for life, particularly exercise and sex, leading to sadness, loneliness, and mild depression.
Common psychological symptoms of an unbalanced sacral chakra: eating disorders, addictions, low self-confidence, dependency issues, low libido, and unbalanced emotions.
3rd - Solar Plexus: The yellow chakra located at the diaphragm. Its Sanskrit name is manipura. It is associated with our physical center, personal power, desire, inner-strength, emotions, instincts, and “gut” feelings.
If the solar plexus chakra becomes unbalanced, you may feel very stressed all the time and powerless to gain control, leaving you mentally and physically exhausted. You may have “gut” feelings but are not sure of what or where they are coming from, contributing to your distress and discomfort. The stress of an unbalanced solar plexus chakra also contributes to poor memory and concentration.
Common psychological symptoms of an unbalanced solar plexus chakra: lack of memory and concentration, frequent fearing, feeling uncentered, sugar addictions, insomnia, and eating disorders.
I mean that sums it up right there. All three of those chakras have overlapped the emotions and psychological symptoms I've been feeling. I know deep down I'm meant to be a Mother, but the road to motherhood is not an easy one for me. The constant questions, do I want that, am I ready for that, what will this mean for me, are all swirling around in my brain.
I felt better after grounding down and came home and had a pretty decent night of rest, so I must have released and repaired something. Today is a new day and I already feel some of the tension easing up from my chest. Over the next few days I'm proactively taking steps to rebalance my chakras. These include:
- Wearing red or consuming red foods to help me ground down to my root. I've already painted my nails red and plan to eat strawberries
- Doing more of what makes me happy, such as purchasing flowers, or a yoga class to heal my second which is my powerhouse of creativity, pleasure, and enjoyment
- Carrying an abalone stone to heal my 3rd chakra
- Lastly, and these are in no particular order, meditating with the color spectrum. There are heaps of guided meditations online that are powerful and help to lead you through the colors of the chakras. The ability to visualize a color can help those reconnect with the energy body.
Thanks all for listening to my personal dramas, and universe I know you'll give me the nudge I need. Anyone else have suggestions? or have experienced something similar? would love to hear from all of you. Xx
Ref Chakras: http://www.curativesoul.com/chakras#.W2x3m_5Kjyt